Jesus Christ or was it John Christ ??

 

So I just finished reading a quite interesting book Templar Revelation. Although these sorts of books should be taken with a pinch of salt as they are one part fact nine part theory. It was a interesting Theory one that could blow the Christian faith to bits especially the catholic church. Now I for one don’t have a problem with anyone believing in what they want to as long as it doesn’t hurt others but I have a very strong dislike for the catholic church.

Ok so this is the outline of the Theory basically Jesus wasn’t a Jew but in fact a Egyptian and he was a leader in the cult of Issa. a Religion based initially in Egypt. he was a follower of John the Baptist not the other way around. who then split off to form his own cult. Jesus never was the son of god and never died on the cross Mary Magdalene was in fact his high priestess of his cult and his lover. Now there is some evidence of this but you know for the church the most damning evidence is that around 437 AD the new testament was edited by the church. So now am getting to my point long winded way that i am going about it I know the point is at least once a month people knock at my door trying to tell me the bible is the word of god, the historical truth of the saviour. Errr what the director cuts version is that ? you see if you take the bible as a historical document then it doesn’t add up at all. to many inconstancies in it I am afraid, and here is the kicker, outside of the the bible there is little or no evidence that Jesus Christ ever existed.   I am sure there was a man called Jesus as it was a pretty common name back then, what's normally another shock for most Christians. Just like this book I have just read the bible takes a rumour and builds a house of cards on it challenge the rumour and the whole house comes falling down around your ears. in fact if you was to say based upon independent accounts of people lift there it is more likely that King Arthur round table and all was more realistic than Jesus. I will come back to that in a later blog

Now for those of you that believe the Old testament is a factual story of god. you must really believe that God is some kind of practical joker. I can just see it now while god is creating the earth, Hmmm tell you what I’ll throw in some strange bones of really freaky creatures so when they dig them up they will be really confused.

The Bible (well at least the new testament) contains some good morals and if you want to live by those moral your end up as a good person, sadly most so called Christians don’t. Many years ago I worked with the YMCA. it was interesting but stressful work with kids. one of the things we had to do was a kind of debrief every week with someone so the stress didn’t get to us. My debriefer was a vicar at the local CE church, a nice guy. So although i was not a believer one Sunday i went along to one of his services to hear what he had to say to his Congregations. the service was a good one not overly a lecture more a  here some ideas go away and think about them. now me being me i just wore my jeans and a T-shirt to church. at the end of the service i left quickly as i had an appointment. The vicar was asked by some of the people who i was after he had waved good bye to me as i left. He explained I was someone that worked for the YMCA. one woman went on to complain about the way i was dressed and that I didn’t pray or sing the hymns basically said i wasn’t the sort of person that should be let into the church. the vicar became quite annoyed by this because he knew all the good work i did, when he related the story to me he said Tony you are more Christian than these people will ever be because they turn up on Sunday and mumble the words and this that will save them. in every day life they never think of others and often will condemn others without even knowing the person. In my experience a lot of Christian especially in the catholic faith are like this.

People often ask me what I do believe, well that's pretty simple really I believe if we all make an effort we can make the world a nicer place to live for everyone. I don’t need a god to tell me this or a book. I can work it out for myself. But I do also believe the Catholic church and in fact most religions are born out of some people need to try to control others and to line there own pockets.  If the Catholic Church really wanted to do some good they could sell off some of the priceless stuff they have stashed away and some of the land they have and really use that money to help people that need it. The could open the archives to the people and allow them to make up there own mind about who or what Jesus was because i am damn sure there is a lot of stuff in the archive they would never wish to see come to light. oh and they could be honest !!! ha ha no chance while there is a chance to line the pockets of the church  

Its arrived, Hell Summer as I like to call it.

 

So its about to start I have been aware it would for about 10 months now but it seems to have come around so quickly, yep Hell Summer is about to start now don’t get me wrong I love the summer. Women in skimpy clothes everyone smiling. playing Frisbee in the park with my girls and  picnics.

But this summer is a little different from most you see its simple. its called Family !

To start with we have my sisters 40 birthday party next weekend, now you know the old saying you choose your friends not your family, well its true, I adore my nieces my brother in law is a good guy too but my sister and I well we just don’t see eye to eye and I have already upset her by refusing to wear trousers. now I know that doesn’t sound like a big thing but it is to my sister. you see I am very much a jeans and T-shirt man. In fact the only trousers I own go with my suit and that would mean buying a pair of trousers that I will never wear again, ok lets get this in perspective, its not like the party is in some swanky hotel nope its in her local village hall. I am happy to wear a shirt but it will have to be Jeans with it (black ones of course) she is not happy but as I pointed out to her i wear a suit for Interviews, wedding and funerals and as i would never work for her and she is already married, death is the only way she will make me wear trousers. see I have spent to long in Oz where they wear jeans and shorts even to weddings. So lets face it its going to be hell because my sister could not organise a piss up in a brewery and she arranged her own party DON’T PANIC will be the catch phrase of the day I suspect. To say I am dreading it would be a understatement along the lines of saying  the English dislike the French (we hate them).

The Mother in law is coming to stay for a month in fact over a month. what is breaking the deal we made many years ago I said she was welcome to come any time but for never more than a month at a time, she coming for a month and 3 days !!! . You see my wife is Australia (I know we will not hold that against her, she half Scottish too but she lovely really ;) ) but my Mother in Law is the Aussie Half so we don’t actually get to see her much, normally once a year. what enough for any man!!. Now don’t get me wrong, I actually quite like my mother in law (especially when she on the other side of the world) she got a good sense of humour and knows how to drink. but lets face it I already live in a female dominated house hold. with my wife and two daughters so when the mother in law comes I get really out numbered, the only advantage of my Mother in law coming over is my step Father in law is coming to and he is to use an Aussie term Bonzer Bruce and we have a good laugh together normally at the mother in law to be fair.

So a month with the in laws sounds bad but you know it gets worse. The last time I actually went on Holiday with my own folks is when I was 16. so that’s almost 22 years ago well some IDIOT (yep me) had a bright idea that we would all go to Spain for a week, The In Laws My folks and my Family, 8 of us in a villa and why was Spain chosen well simple its cheap lol and I speak a little Spanish from when I lived out there. In Laws have never been to Spain nor have my folks, they are all well travelled but so far they have avoided Spain. so Suddenly I am now in charge of anything and everything, where we are going, what food we are going to eat.what places we are going to visit etc etc all because I have some experience of the country. Oh boy I really hope they like Rock clubs ha ha.

so could it get worse well sadly it can, you see the other thing that stopped when i was 16 was spending my birthday with my folks. 22 years I have done my own thing on my birthday (got drunk with friends and made a fool of myself) and this year as my IN LAWS (should be made outlaws in my book) are here it has been decided that the weekend of my birthday we will all go to my folks for the weekend for drink and BBQ and who came up with this really bright idea yep ME again, the fact it was the only free weekend left before my in laws return to the other side of the world

Ok so Sisters birthday, in law here for a month a holiday with in laws and folks and my birthday with in laws and folks can’t get any worse can it . Initially  thought not too  oh how wrong I was. Hell Summer is wrapped up with a wedding (yep that means the suit) and worse a Catholic wedding.

I have lots of issue with Religion (for one i think it a load of old crock, what i will be returning to in another blog) but particularly the catholic church winds me up. I have not been to a church service in a catholic church for well must be nearly 14 years now, I did warn my friends not to blame me if the church falls down when I walk in. Of course I am very happy for my friends getting married they are a wonderful couple and perfect for each other but I am dreading 2 hours of sing and preaching all to hear them say I do now lets party.

Am I looking forward to the summer honestly yes I am god think about all the inspiration for blogs i am going to get from this lol

Mind your language please !

Language has always interested me, I suppose for two reasons

1. I am dyslexic and well anything I find hard I tend to take a bigger interest in

2. I shared 5 years of my life with a linguist and well we had many discussion on the topic over those 5 years

I read a huge amount and some of the books I read trigger though processes. for example it was pointed out in a book I am reading at the moment (The Templar Revelation, an interesting book I am sure I will blog more about another time) That Rose as in the flower is an anagram of Eros the Greek god of love, that in it self is nothing major but when you consider that roses are the flower given on valentine day (the Christian St associated with lovers) and is considered the most romantic flower to give its does start you wondering if the name of the Rose is by design or coincidence.

some other interesting anagrams are :

Dormitory – Dirty Room

Axl Rose (lead singer for Gun ‘N’ Roses) – Oral Sex (I know he intended that one)

Sports bra – Traps orbs

Presbyterian - Best in prayer

Astronomer - Moon starer

The Morse Code - Here come dots

and the one I like best of all

Mother-in-law - Woman Hitler

It’s these little tip bits that interest me when it comes to language and how words came about how they was evolved, why was the word tree select to represent a item that grew from the ground with left and a bark covered trunk.

Why does Blue have so many different meanings in the various English languages around the world, its a colour, its a description for feeling said and in Australia if you have a blue it means to have a fight. (really don’t as me why it just does strange people the Aussie)

and words have so many very different meaning, for example in America if someone say they have a big fanny it means a big arse in England well in the UK its means they have a big female sexual part  (pussy). You can imagine the miss understanding that can cause or go into a stationary shop in America and ask for a Rubber they are likely to tell you to go to a chemist as a rubber in the US is a Condom where in the UK we use it to remove words written in pencil. why have these words evolved to have such different meaning

It doesn’t get any better when you try to use translation software for other languages, I really do recommend you don’t use Google translate to ask for a sexual act here are some examples LOL.

Can I have a blow job translated to French is “peut avoir une pipe” but when translated back is may have a pipe. could prove interesting.

So please think about it and mind your language, oh another tip bit did you know that the English language is the only major language in the world that doesn’t have an official institute to govern it. explains a lot doesn’t it.

While you are at it take my wallet too

Internet security personal security is really important these days more and more ID theft and well FaceBook is a prime ground for it. now of course FB do all they can but anything sent over HTTP protocol is at risk. so it amazes me how many people get offended when i refuse to add them. ok i have secured my profile with the FaceBook tools but i know full well that's not secure.

So FaceBook is Hackable and it contains your full name in most cases, your date of birth, and often where you was born. oh great now i have all the info i need to get a copy of your birth certificate Think about it its really that easy.

now i have a birth certificate i can easily get other forms of ID. and then its credit cards and bank loans even a passport Anyone for a holiday and a drugs run ? or better lets sell it to a terrorist

the thing is people don’t have to add people on to FaceBook until they know them better, there are far better ways to talk and more secure and i am of course talking about MSN Skype and Yahoo Messenger, now mention that to most females and they think oh god web cam and cock hanging out. this i find really sad because they are all great communication tools.

Think about it how much information can someone get about you from MSN or Yahoo or even Skype. hardly any and if your a little canny about it None. great block features for the people that you don’t like even blocking them from send you mail to hotmail. or yahoo mail. far safer and far more secure.

Just think about it next time you send or are sent a random add on FaceBook, of course the other problem with adding people on FaceBook is it seems once you have added them they never talk to you, you mail get lost in all the other mail. Again doesn’t happen with MSN and MSN Doesn’t tell you off for having a long conversation like FaceBook does

God this is the second serious post on here i need to pull my finger out lol

Only Time will tell so they say

Really ??? yep today topic is rather crazy saying and there in the title are two of them. Time may have a face (a clock face) but it doesn’t have a mouth so how the hell is it going to tell you anything ? ok the second bit so they say. so who say’s who are these people that come up with cryptic saying that mean nothing ???? is there a government department churning them out ?? or is it some monks sit on top of a high mountain going I know let really confuse those buggers down there !!

Shut you mouth and eat your food is another great one HOW if my mouth is shut how can i get the food in it ????

If i have told you once i have told you a thousand times – generally people have only said it once or twice when they say this why a thousand why not 50 times its more realistic

if you don’t eat your crust your hair will not go curly. right first of all simply not true, secondly  my hair is already curly and lastly I don’t want curly hair !!!

drink this it will grow hairs on your chest – not a good one for women for a start, and well you know its not true anyway what is it fertilizer for chest hair ?

these are jus a few i could think of off the top of my head but they come up all the time

Of course there are some of these that are easy to explain, for example “the proof of the pudding is in the eating” doesn’t mean to prove its a pudding you need to eat it. proof in old days was used instead of the word test. so really that should read the testing of the pudding is in the eating what actually makes far more sense.

but now my favourite quote of all time reportedly said by Churchill at some official reception

Lady: Mr Churchill you are drunk.

Churchill: Ah yes my dear lady but you are ugly and in the morning I will be sober.

I am not 100% sure if this really happened, some say it did other say it didn’t, I would like to think it is true and old Churchill is the most likely person to have actually said that. Shame is now when we think of Churchill we think of Ahhhh YES because of the dog on the TV adverts.

How not to defrost a freeze Idiots guide

Ok so I just defrosted my freeze, it was desperate, if i let if get any worse the only thing i would have got in was pizza or flat bread. seemed to take forever, what of course it didn’t it was just working on paint drying time. So i thought to myself i wonder if there is a quicker  cost effective way to do this

Problem is all the ideas i came up with was rather destructive.

1. Blow torch. now at first thought good idea melt the ice really quickly, but then again hmmm all the plastic in there not such a bright idea

2. set a small fire on a metal try and place it inside. see above !!! durr

3. Salt, well it works on the roads but then i remember salt if not cleaned off 100% eats metal hmmm if i miss a bit on say the coolant pipe could be replace the freeze not defrost it

4. very very small Plastic explosive charges. hmmm getting hold of the stuff could be a problem, and how little would i need and if i put that little in would i be able to get the detonation charge into it. would be a bit of a case of I only said blow the bloody ice off.

5. someone online suggested red wine but do i really want to waste red wine on defrosting a freezer ?

6. someone else said bleach now that's workable except the only one i had was toilet duck and well its bit thick and bloody expensive

7. de icier you use for the car. two problems there, its summer so where would i get it from secondly god know what chemicals it has in it and do i really want to put unknown chemical compound in a place i store food

8. put my Toaster in there and switch it on. hmmm ok up to a point but good chance of electrocuting myself or fusing the house.

So i waited until it was getting soft and then went at i with a spatula, 2.5 hours isn’t that long really and now its all clean and empty except for the pizza and flat bread i had in there to start with

 

Please remember the heading of this Blog and do not try any of these at home !!!!

The Teflon Syndrome

so slightly serious subject today but we see if we can get a few laughs into it. I am a smoker, I make no apologies for that just stating the fact. in fact right now as I am typing this I am enjoying a smoke. Now on Social me there is a picture of me having a smoke. and the other day i got a mail from someone saying “Little Tip thousands of people die from lung cancer everyday” well I am sorry to say this sort of comment tend to piss me off for a couple of reason

1. no of their business

2. I am not stupid.

To be honest I find that as offensive as mailing someone who is seriously over weight and saying little tip diet related illness kills thousand of people every day. I would never do that for the following reasons

1. I know nothing about them

2. they know that they hear it from the doctor all the time i expect

3. really what the hell is it to do with me.

Anyway that’s the background to this post.

I mention this mail to someone else who threw a fit saying she thought smoking was disgusting and she had been put in hospital by a ex because he smoked and she suffered from breathing related illness. and if i had to work on a ward where people was helplessly dying of lung cancer i would see it differently. I disagreed with her on some points what i will go into in a second but of course she could not argue with my logic so she told me to fuck off.

So point one if your not willing to actually debate something without getting abusive then don’t start the debate. if you can argue you point in a Calm logical or even emotional way then really don’t bother.

ok so lets look at my points to her.

Yes smoking is a nasty habit really bad for you can harm others if people are not careful i don’t disagree with any other that , bloody expensive too no argument but I enjoy it.

but if you was to ban smoking for those reasons you would have to ban the following things too

Cars

Motorbike

Most types of nuts especially peanuts

Gas

Electric

Alcohol

Sugar

Fatty Foods

Olive oil

All extreme sports

Jogging

Walking on the pavements

You see thousand of people die every year from these activities

ok lung cancer killed 34,600 people in the UK in 2008, now that's a lot of people. but not all can be put down to smoking here are some other thing that may cause it asbestos, Coal products (yep that's right all that smog caused by burning coal to product electricity) Radiation like radon found naturally in some rocks. Toner in laser printers a whole list of chemicals used in every day life.

Now in the same year 28,572 people died due to car accidents there is one single cause one product causing the death a CAR so should we call for the banning of cars ?

Nearly 10,000 people died of drink related illness should we ban drinking ? put those to ban together and your save more people than banning smoking. I am not even going to start on getting stats for size related deaths

So what do i believe in is freedom of choice. I have the facts I know the risks but i still choose to smoke. you have the facts but you might still choose to get in a car every day and drive are either of us wrong, Just by walking out your front door you take a risk from all that smog created by cars !

Now on to the point that really annoyed me this person claimed her ex had put her in hospital due to his smoking.

What did he do tie her to chair and make her smoke ? did he wait until he was asleep and then blow smoke in her face. well maybe he did and if he did she should be prosecuted for attempted murder. If smoking can affect your health then stay away from smokers. its not hard to do especially these days but its never been that hard to do really. she choose to be with him even thou she knew he smoked and it could affect her health isn’t that like someone with a peanut allergy working in a peanut butter factory ??

This is what i can all the Teflon syndrome. I have a particular dislike for anyone that drinks and drives but if i get in a car with someone i know has been drinking and they have an accident and i or others get injured, i would not have anyone but myself to blame. I could have chosen not to get in that car. it was my action that led to me getting injured as well as the drivers but doesn’t mean i don’t have any responsibility for my own injury i would have made a choice. Of course this will never happen to me because I make sure it won’t because i would refuse to get in any car with any person that’s even had one drink.

 

So i will finish this blog with a song from one of my all time favourite bands Thunder that kind a related to this in effect if we keep banning everything then we will live in the book 1984

Don't wanna go out don't know who I'll meet
Don't wanna breathe that filthy air on the street
Don't make me burn 'neath that hole in the sky
I'm too scared to live and I'm too young to die
Don't get the door it's the man from the bank
He wants my house but I won't give it back
Here comes the vultures as I'm starting to try
I'm too scared to live but I'm too broke to die
Stop smoking, stop drinking
It's not even safe no more ... sleeping with women
I gave up driving I thought I might crash
And I can't go private cos I ain't got the cash
Expensive business this keeping your health
That's why I'm too scared to live cos I ain't got the wealth
Stop whinging, stop moaning
But it's hard enjoying life, when I can't do nothing
Can't drink the water can't swim in the sea
And my television's too corrupting for me
Then someone told me it's wrong eating meat
I'm too scared to live and now I'm too scared to eat
I'm so depressed just can't take it no more
I don't know what I'm even living for
One thing that keeps me from a suicide
I'm too scared to live but I'm too scared to die
Keep trying, keep fighting
That's easy for you to say, but I feel like crying

 

P.s. I am very sorry this is a serious post and normal service will be resumed soon :)