How not to defrost a freeze Idiots guide

Ok so I just defrosted my freeze, it was desperate, if i let if get any worse the only thing i would have got in was pizza or flat bread. seemed to take forever, what of course it didn’t it was just working on paint drying time. So i thought to myself i wonder if there is a quicker  cost effective way to do this

Problem is all the ideas i came up with was rather destructive.

1. Blow torch. now at first thought good idea melt the ice really quickly, but then again hmmm all the plastic in there not such a bright idea

2. set a small fire on a metal try and place it inside. see above !!! durr

3. Salt, well it works on the roads but then i remember salt if not cleaned off 100% eats metal hmmm if i miss a bit on say the coolant pipe could be replace the freeze not defrost it

4. very very small Plastic explosive charges. hmmm getting hold of the stuff could be a problem, and how little would i need and if i put that little in would i be able to get the detonation charge into it. would be a bit of a case of I only said blow the bloody ice off.

5. someone online suggested red wine but do i really want to waste red wine on defrosting a freezer ?

6. someone else said bleach now that's workable except the only one i had was toilet duck and well its bit thick and bloody expensive

7. de icier you use for the car. two problems there, its summer so where would i get it from secondly god know what chemicals it has in it and do i really want to put unknown chemical compound in a place i store food

8. put my Toaster in there and switch it on. hmmm ok up to a point but good chance of electrocuting myself or fusing the house.

So i waited until it was getting soft and then went at i with a spatula, 2.5 hours isn’t that long really and now its all clean and empty except for the pizza and flat bread i had in there to start with

 

Please remember the heading of this Blog and do not try any of these at home !!!!